hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
