I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
