i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
