Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
