i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
