What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
...so i touched it.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
