she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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