Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
