UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
