Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
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