I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
