he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
