we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
