Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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