Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
