I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
