I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
