There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
