My friends, they love my intelligence
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
