I think I died a long time ago.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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