is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Randomize
