Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
