She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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