So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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