Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
