Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
