I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
