Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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