I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
whose ass print is on the piano?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
My vagina is very pro this idea
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
