im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
