ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
