I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
