i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
