Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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