I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
