do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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