Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
