There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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