The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I am mentally ready for anal.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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