just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
