I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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