after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
