Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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