I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
sarcasm needs its own font
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
