I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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