is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
