Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Let's paint friendship bongs
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
