shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
