yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
