I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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