I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
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