I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
