gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
